..I hate about living:
1) Dropping a wet article of clothing on the dirty ground at a laundermat as youre trying to transfer clothes into the dryer. At this point you basically have to invest a good 45 seconds in order to pick off the lint and other floor-crap that is now stuck to the fabric.
2) Trying to get out of the car whilst attempting to take 4 different things with you at once (to go box from a restaurant, a book, a shopping bag, half-empty coffee cup you’re still drinking out of), then awkwardly trying to close the door and not drop your keys. Most of the time I find that the door will swing back towards me (as I usually find myself parked on some sort of hill) and hit me while I’m desperately trying to gather all of my shit without dropping anything. Then I have to put something down just to open the fucking door again. It is in this situation that one will find me cussing out loud to no one..
3) Opening a can of soda and having just a little bit of it shoot up out of the can and onto your shirt, most of the time this only happens if your shirt is of a light color and new.
4) Internet gossip sites that have postings where they just link you to OTHER internet gossip sites. I don’t want to wait for another page to load, I’m already here, so just do a whole post on whatever it is you found funny in the original story! Also, there’s an 88% chance that whatever page you’re going to direct me to is blocked by my company’s web-blocker dealie. Asshole.
5) Washing the dishes and accidentally turning the water up high blast so that it bounces off the dirty saucepan you’re washing and sends grease and water flying onto whatever it is you’re wearing above the waste (Im short)– probably something nice, because you wanted to get the dishes over with before you left the house for that nice dinner party. FAIL.
6) Having a friend who text messages like she/he doesn’t realize that shits expensive. Example:
Text one: Hey!
Text two: Busy tonight
Text three: ?
Text four: Call me!
Text five: 🙂
Response: FUCK YOU.
7) Ordering a drink at Starbucks or Jamba Juice and then realizing you actually wanted something else but robotically ordered the same thing you always do. You can’t really change the order since you can see they are almost done making it. Now you have to drink that same fucking drink you always drink and your attempt to “change things up a bit” has failed.
8) Families with small children in public areas
9) Going to a family event and finding that they bought the SHITTIEST wine and there is nothing else to booze on. I’m talking nasty dessert wine that couldn’t have cost more than 4 dollars but looked “pretty” so they bought it. REALLY?? At this point im searching through their medicine cabinet for some valium. Most of the time, it’s there.
aaaaaaaaaand 10) Walking all the way to the Mexican Place 5 blocks away, drunk and dreaming of a delicious burrito, only to find that you left your wallet AND your cell phone at home. At this point, you may as well throw yourself into the street and hope for a quick death.